


Goodbye's Are So Final, Or Are They?

by Anon_360



Category: The Gifted (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Difficult Decisions, Family, Feelings, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-05-15 06:02:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19289623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon_360/pseuds/Anon_360
Summary: My thoughts on what happened to Caspian after the Season 1 finale and how he fits into Season 2.





	1. Post Season 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my partner Echo_star, I regained a lot of confidence in my writing and I am making the foray into posting my work. Thank you for helping me these last two years Echo, you're a great friend.

They stayed in the safe house in North Carolina for two months. During that time the leaders were devising a plan to safely move everyone to different stations. The Atlanta underground team was being dissolved, Shatter was going to lead a station in Baltimore, Brad was going to Tallahassee, and was taking a group to Houston. John, Marcos, the Struckers and Clarice were going to be on the road, attempting to track down the Frosts and find Lorna, Fade, Sage, Bulk and Andy. It was announced at a meeting after dinner, the crowd of refugees having been told that it would be up to each individual to decide which station they would be traveling to, even the children. After the meeting dispersed Norah took Caspian to the children's corner, so that they could all have their own meeting.

"Hey guys." Skylar greeted, albeit somberly, when the pair walked over and sat down.

"When are we starting?" Norah asked hesitantly. 

"We're still waiting for Wes and Lauren." Nialah explained. After a few minutes, of awkwardly sitting on the floor all introspectively silent, Wes and Lauren arrived, deep in the midst of their own conversation. As they couple came within hearing range their whispered conversation was abruptly cut off by Lauren sitting down angrily and with a little reluctance Skylar began. 

"Well, what do you all think?" Skylar asked, broaching they heavy topic. 

"I'm going with Shatter." Nialah stated. 

"I'm going to go to Houston." Wes confessed, looking anywhere but at Lauren. 

"I want to go to Tallahassee." Norah whispered. 

"I _will_ find my brother." Lauren interjected boldly, shooting a glare at Wes, who looked away slightly ashamed. 

“Caspian,” Skylar spoke up, in an attempt to diffuse whatever was happening between Lauren and Wes, prompting the little boy to look up. “Where are you thinking of?” 

“He’s too young to make that decision.” Lauren interrupted. 

“During the meeting they said everyone gets to make their own choice,” Norah argued, “ㅡeven kids.” They all turned to look at Caspian again but he just shrugged.

“I’m going with Clarice.” The boy said, as if it were obvious, and turned his attention back to his untied shoe. The elder kids shared an apprehensive look over his head. Then Wes sighed and cleared his throat.

“Um Caspian, you can’t go with Clarice.” Wes spoke slowly, as if speaking at different tempo would make the child understand. 

“Why not?” Cas asked without looking up.

“Because that wasn’t an option.” Skylar said definitively. The white blond curly haired mutant looked up from his shoes then. His brows were furrowed and he was about to open his mouth, presumably to disagree, when Norah piped up. 

“Let’s go see Clarice right now CD.” Without waiting for a response, she rose and took his hand prompting him to rise as well and together they left, efficiently putting an end to the kids meeting. The pair found Clarice, across the safe house, sitting on a table with her back towards them and speaking with Caitlin Strucker. The mother was pacing while the green eyed mutant attempted, unsuccessfully, to calm her down. 

“We don't have _time_ to waste here waiting for everybody to decide where they want to go. My son is _gone_ and every day he gets farther and farther away.” The nurse bemoaned.

“Caitlin I know that, but we can’t just up and leave. John and Marcos are still leaders among these people. They can’t abandon them and you can’t make John go any faster. He’s still responsible for their safety, he’s not going to leave before he knows everyone is safe and you need him to track Andy. There’s nothing you can do for now, and I understand that that sucks but maybe keeping busy will distract you until we’re ready to leave.” 

“Yes butㅡ” she cut herself off when she saw the children approach and Clarice turned around when Caitlin stopped speaking. 

“Hey you guys. What do you need?” Clarice asked the duo. 

“Caspian thinksㅡ” Norah began but the younger boy cut her off by running around the table to stand proudly in front of Clarice. Soon her questioning gaze turned form Norah to the boy in front of her, with a nod of her head she encouraged him to speak.

“Wes said that I can’t go with you, but he’s wrong, right?” Caspian asked her. Clarice’s eyes widened and she turned to look at Norah, who winced but nodded. Caitlin immediately walked around the table to the blue tinged mutant and took her hand, steering her away. Turning back around, Clarice sighed as she looked down into the big hopeful golden eyes gleaming back up at her. 

“Caspian it’s not that simple.” She began. “It’s going to be dangerous, and we’re going to be traveling a lot. We may even have to hide,” she spoke softly.

“But I’m going with you.” His little voice questioned, making her eyes water. 

“No,” she whispered brokenheartedly. He took a step back and, sensing his impending retreat, Clarice slid off the tabletop. “Hey.” She soothed kneeling down to his height and taking his hands gently in her own. “I need you to be safe. You have to go with Shatter. He’ll take great care of you, he already promised me that.” Caspian shook his head defiantly. 

“No! I wanna go with _you_.” He protested. 

“You can’t come with me, Cas, it’s not safe. You could get hurt.”

“Then you should come with me.” He pled. 

“I can’t do that either. I need to be with Marcos and John.” Clarice tried to explain. 

“But _I_ need to be with _you_ _!_ ”He cried. 

“And I want to be with you too,” she whispered, tears escaping down her cheeks, “but I need you to be safe and it’s not safe for you to be with me.” Clarice admitted. 

“I don’t want to leave you.” He whispered tears falling. Clarice pulled him into her arms, hugging him and stroking his back languidly. 

“I don’t want to leave you either, Cas.” She whispered into his curls. “But I promise that once it’s safe, I will come get you. Okay? I’ll come to Baltimore and bring you home with me.” 

“Promise?” He hiccuped. 

“I promise.” She whispered. The little boy pulled back and stared her in the eyes. 

“I love you.” He declared his fingers dancing lightly over the markings on her right cheek. Clarice reached up and cupped his hands, bringing them to her mouth she pressed a kiss onto the backs of his hands. 

“I love you so much.” She confessed pulling him into a bone crushing hug.

 

* * *

 

Over the next six days Caspian rarely, if ever, strayed from Clarice’s side; always walking with her, eating with her, holding her hand, and curling up to share her cot at night. The boy was obviously dreading their impending separation. Clarice wasn’t handling it much better, instead of discouraging the behavior, so that his adjustment period with Shatter would be reduced, she couldn’t help but encourage him; always waiting for him to wake up before leaving her bed, always soothing his curls or cupping his cheek. John watched them interact during their last week together and he knew how much the two would suffer on the final day. When the seventh dawn arrived there were only a handful of people in the safe house, John had arranged the schedule of the departures around to give Clarice and Caspian more time together, and John metaphorically tiptoed around the pair. After having watched Caspian make puppy eyes at Clarice for the last three hours, John decided to make sure that this was really what she wanted. Hesitantly he approached Clarice, in a rare moment when the boy wasn’t glued to her hip, having shifted into a puppy and run off to play with Zingo one last time. 

“How are you?” He asked cautiously. Sighing she turned around to face him and carded her hand through her violet tresses. 

“Honestly?” She questioned, turning to face him. John took her hand gently, and she squeezed it tight. “I’m a mess, but I won’t cry in front of him anymore today. Why does this have to be so hard?” She wondered aloud, moving into John’s offered embrace, settling her back against his chest. 

Settling his arms around her waist, he answered, “Because you love him.” John looked down at Clarice, as she gazed out at Skylar and Nialah playing with Zingo and puppy Caspian, and after a moment broached the reason he’d come over. “What if we take him with us?” 

“I’d love to.” She immediately responded, John knew there was a caveat, and Clarice turned in his arms so that she was facing him when she delivered it. “But we can’t. We have no idea what we’re getting into John. This entire ‘find Lorna and Andy’ journey is a huge question mark and if something does happen then Caspian will be caught in the middle of it and he could end up getting hurt. I will _never_ let _anything_ hurt that boy.” 

“Being separated from you, that’s what will hurt him.” John stated. 

“Don’t you think I know that?” She hissed stepping out of his embrace. “But him coming with us and ending up hurt or getting killed! That would devastate me. He’ll be safer with Shatter and that’s why he’s going to Baltimore.” 

John looked over her shoulder at puppy Caspian as he came running back to her, and he nodded. “I just hope you know what you’re signing the both of you up for.” 

“Trust me,” she said sadly, turning away from John as her buddy ran up to her jumping and yipping excitedly around her feet. “I know.”


	2. Season 2 Episode 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baltimore: Shatter's station after the bombing of the churches

She was finally here. For the past five months Clarice had avoided the Baltimore station like the plague, it was too hard to visit Caspian and see his face light up, with hope, only to watch it fall to pieces when she told him she still couldn’t take him with her. It broke her heart every time and she quickly became tired of being heartbroken, instead choosing to avoid it and him. As they arrived at the Baltimore station Clarice hesitated leaving the car, for a moment. Putting on a brave face she opened the car door. She smiled seeing Shatter, Skyler, Pablo and Naya come to greet them.

“It’s too bad this is what it takes to get your ugly mugs up here.” Shatter spoke jestingly, clasping hands with John.

“Shatter, it’s good to see you.”

“Good to see you too.”

“So, what’s the situation?” Clarice asked, piping up from her spot behind Marcos, leaning against the car while the men had embraced each other.

“We’ve got about 20 refugees from the bombed church. They’ve been filtering in all day and we’ve already got a full house to begin with. Things have gotten worse ever since that hospital attack last week.”

“Oh, great. The inner circle makes the mess and we get to clean it up.” Marcos scoffed.

“Oh it’s worse than that.” Shatter reassured. “The human groups that used to help us, they won’t even take our calls.” All the leaders shared a troubling look, brows furrowed and lips pursed.

“We need to get the names of the people who came in and start making new IDs.” Reed said, breaking the terse silence. “I’ll get my equipment.”

“We’ll got on the names.” Marcos responded.

Shatter held the door open and everyone, sans John, Reed and Shatter, enter the abandoned hospital. When Clarice wasn’t immediately pulled into a hug she looked around, worriedly, searching for Caspian. She caught a glimpse of his head bobbing through the throngs of refugees receiving aid. Seeing the overwhelming amount of mutants and their families hurting reminds her of all the good that the Underground is fighting for whilst simultaneously the tendrils of longing make her envious of the life the Morlocks lived, tucked away safely. Clarice shook her head, as though the movement will rid her of these feelings and thoughts, then she threw herself into the fray, helping wrap sprains made by getting trampled and handing out blankets to those in shock and taking names and birthdays. Clarice had compiled a small list before she went to get a water bottle from the supply closet. She opened the door to enter when something crashed into her stomach, catching her off guard.

“Ow, ‘scuse me.” Caspian said, his white blond curls just barely visible above the box of rations he’s holding.

“Hey Cas.” A squeal is her only preparation before he unceremoniously dropped the box and launched himself over it to hug her fiercely. Clarice’s heart automatically feels lighter.

“I didn’t think you’d come back.” He said, barely audibly, as he smashed his face into her stomach. Her heart constricted, because at some point he began doubting that she would. Then Clarice felt guiltier for not visiting and for intentionally staying away. It hurt her to stay away but she’d thought it best so that she wouldn’t keep breaking his heart when she visited but now knowing she couldn’t take him back with her.

“I’m sorry, Cas. I’m really sorry.” She choked out, gripping him fiercely. He tilted his head to look up at her and smiled brightly.

“That’s okay. Just don’t do it again.” He said, his eyes wet with I shed tears. Clarice opened her mouth to respond, she wasn’t even sure how she would respond, when the door behind the pair opened.

“Clarice, we need you back out here—“ John began, only to be cut off by Caspian shouting his name. Then Caspian detached from her torso and shot over to John. Seeing Caspian standing in front of him, a ball of nervous energy as per usual, John smiled, genuinely smiled, for the first time in weeks. “Hey buddy.” He greeted the boy. Caspian eyes sparkled up at him and then he launched himself against John, hugging him as tight as he could. “It’s good to see you too.” John laughed lightly, the bomb refugees a distant thought, slinging his arms loosely around Caspian’s body as he hugged him back. John locked eyes with Clarice who had a thoughtful yet foreign expression on her face and love in her eyes. “Hey kid, I heard you were helping out Shatter.” John said releasing him. Stepping back Caspian nodded.

“Yeah I was handing out lunch to everyone.” He said proudly.

“That’s such an important job.” John praised. “Did you come back to grab a new box of MRE’s?” He asked looking at the box that was on the floor a few inches from Clarice.

“Uh huh.” He nodded. Then John looked at Clarice.

“What’d you come back for?”

“Uh, a water bottle. I got thirsty and another woman asked for one.” Clarice replied.

“Okay, how about Clarice gets her water bottle and I help you with your box and we all leave the storage room?” John proposed.

“I don’t need help.” Caspian protested. “I’m strong. I can carry the box myself.”

“Really?” Clarice nodded in support.

“He was carrying it earlier, it was very impressive.” She commented. “Do you wanna show John how strong you are?” 

“Yeah!” He shouted excitedly bounding across the small distance from John to the dropped box. “Look at how strong I am John.” He squatted in front of the box and snuck his fingers under the corners of the box and lifted it steadily. Then he walked over to John, box aloft the whole time.

“You’re super strong. I’m impressed Caspian.” John commented ruffling his hair. “How about you finish handing out lunch to everyone and then go take a break with Clarice.”

“Okay, are you going to leave soon?”

“We won’t be leaving till really late at night.”

“If I’m asleep wake me up before you go?”

“Promise. Here, I’ll hold the door for you.” John stepped around him and held the door open and Caspian walked out of the storage closet. He let the door shut then turned to face Clarice, who now had two bottles of water, one in each hand, and that strange expression on her face. “What?”

“Nothing, you’re really good with him.” John shrugged it off.

“I got to know him well over the past couple months.”

“You never told me that.”

“I didn’t,” he agreed. “You stopped visiting  him for a reason and I didn’t want to bring it all back up every time I came, so I didn’t mention it.” Clarice walked up to him and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you John.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Clarice. It’s not hard to fall in love with that boy.”

“No, it’s not.” She mused.

“Come on,” he spoke up breaking them out of their small moment of introspection, “we should get back.”

“You didn’t get what you came for.” She stated bluntly.

“Sorry?” 

“You came to the storage room, presumably for a reason, but you’re not taking anything. Did you forget what you came for?”

“Oh, um, I was looking for you actually.” He admitted somewhat bashfully.

“Awwww.” She cooed. John rolled his eyes playfully.

“Let it go Clarice.” He bemoaned opening the door for her.

“Never.” She grinned cheekily as she walked past him to deliver a bottle of water. After her delivery Clarice went up to the nurses station that Reed had situated his forging station and handed off her list. Then she cracked open her water bottle and sat atop the counter observing the conundrum. Her eyes followed Caspian as he weaved his way through the throngs handing out MRE’s. He looked up and caught her watching him, he beamed up at her before turning back to his task. She watched him run over to John and hand him two lunches for the couple John was working with.

"I think we have a problem." Reed announced pulling Johns attention from the couple, who he had just passed along a meal ration to, and Clarice’s attention from her pseudo-son to the new mutant.

"What?" John asked standing and up turning around to face them.

"I spoke to a bunch of people from the church about what happened. None of them were injured." Reed realized.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Clarice questioned.

"Does seem kind of strange." Shatter commented.

"If a bunch of Purifiers bomb a church to hurt mutants, why were none of them hurt?" Reed asked rhetorically.

"Because it's a trap." John realized, a minute too late. Instantly John’s kneeling down hand outstretched, tracking how close the Purifiers are and if they'll have enough time to evacuate. “We have to get everyone out of here now.” Marcos stated.

“I’ll go and get people out the back.” Reed responded.

“Go, go.” Marcus urged.

“Too late.” John commented. His second-sight showing him five trucks rolling to a stop, a machine gun mounted in the bed of one. A truck door slammed and a figure rounded the front, foghorn in hand, Jace Turner has found the Baltimore station and he has led an army of Purifiers to lay waste to the inhabitants and refugees. “They’re here.”

The next minute the abandoned hospital was in a frenzy, people packing what they could carry as Reed instructed them to pack faster but only the light things. Clarice looked around, searching briefly, for Caspian as she followed John to a boarded up window.

"It's Jace Turner again. He was at the clinic. He must’ve tracked us here somehow.”

"He's almost as good as you." Clarice quipped. John shot her a look, which clearly stated ‘how dare you’ and she responded with a slightly ‘sorry not sorry’.

“Look, if you can portal everyone there, we’ve got a straight shot to the road.”

“They’re going to notice when we pop up behind them like gophers. I don’t know about you but I can’t run faster than a pick up truck.”

“Eclipse, Skyler and Naya can cover us. Shatter and I will run interference.” Before she can even agree or disagree John had  turned away to announce the ill-formed plan. “Hey, everybody, on my signal get ready to run!”

“I’m gonna open up a portal. I need you guys to move through as quickly as possible and seek cover as fast as you can.” Just then the window shattered, spraying glass inwards over the terrified mutants.

“Bomb!” Someone shouted in terror. 

“Gas!” Another screamed.

“Run!” John shouted as another window imploded bringing with it another canister and a shower of broken glass. “Get to the back of the building.”

The instant the first window was broken by the canister the only thought that flashed through her mind was, _‘Where is Caspian?’_ Then she thought nothing as she slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

John saw the fear flash across her face and her mouth open before she collapsed onto the floor. He ran to her, his first instinct being to keep Clarice safe. Quickly John grasped her free-falling body and pulled her into his arms, fighting to stay conscious as he breathed the gas in. He stumbled clumsily to the back of the building, dropping to his knees. He distantly heard Reed claim that it is Halothane-X gas, designed specifically to target the x-gene. There are so many people lying unconscious on the floor of the abandoned hospital at the mercy of these Purifiers, so many people John feels like he's failing: men, women, and children— ‘Caspian!' his mind shouted, in alarm, over the groggy headache that the gas was giving him. Pushing his hands against the floor he rose, shakily.

“Where are you going?” Marcos asked and John struggled to his feet.

“I have to go back,” John gasped finally standing.

“John you can’t! That's suicide.” Marcos argued.

“If I leave Caspian behind to those animals, I’d never forgive myself. Hell, she’d never forgive me. I can't leave him to the mercy of the Purifiers.” And with that he ran back out into the gas. John can hardly see through the gas, it is a thick smoke screen and practically tangible. Knowing that his eyes are useless John instead used his enhanced hearing, sifting through the myriad of heartbeats in the room. ‘A child’s heartbeat is softer and faster and there!’ John’s head snapped to the left, not too far away. Swiftly John ran to the sound, not caring about the things he knocked down but being wary of not trampling upon the unconscious people strewn about. John can feel the cold tendrils of unconsciousness attempting to subdue him but he fought them off, all he needed was another minute and he will have reached the boy.

The heartbeat was right in front of him, dropping to his knees he groped blindly. His fingers caught in jeans and he tugged, he heard the body slide across the ground until it bumped gently into his knees. He quickly ran his hand over the child’s face. His fingers felt the rough pattern etched into the child’s skin and he nodded, content to say he’d found Caspian. Gripping the boy and hauling him over his shoulder he flat out ran into the back room. Once the door was shut securely behind him and he had all but dumped Caspian into Naya’s arm, he promptly passed out. He was unconscious before he even hit the floor. 

* * *

Clarice woke up relaxed, in the comfort of her bed before the memories from the events of the day made her eyes fly open in panic. “John? Marcos?” She called out anxiously. The floor creaked outside the bedroom door and not a moment later the door opened, showing John.

“Hey, you’ve been out for a long time, just go easy on yourself. Here, some water might help.” Slowly she sat up, the action making her brain throb painfully. Gratefully she took the water and drained the glass.

Leaning over to place it on the bedside table, she asked, “What happened?” 

“Well,” John started, perching on the bed next to her. “The Purifiers tracked the fleeing refugees to the abandoned hospital and they launched gas through the windows.” Clarice nodded slowly as the memories return. She remembered starting to open a portal and seeing Caspian start to run over to her—. Then her head snapped up so violently that her vision swam. 

“Where’s Caspian?” She whispered hoarsely, fearing he’d been caught because she‘d been unable to protect him. 

“I got him out, he’s over on the couch still unconscious. He was in the gas longer than you and he’s smaller so it’ll probably take him a while to regain consciousness.” 'Oh thank god,'  breathing easy. 

“How long was I out?” 

“Five hours. It’s late now, so hopefully he sleeps through the night.”

“I want him.”

“Clarice, he’s all set up on the couch—“ 

“No John, I need him here.” She protested, attempting to get up. 

“Okay, I’ll go get him. Just, please, stay in bed. You need to rest.” 

“I will, promise.” John, with a sidelong glance and small smile, rubbed her leg and got up. Slowly, so as not to further disturb her brain, Clarice laid her head back down on the pillow. After a minute John came back in, Caspian bundled in the spare blanket held steadily in his arms. John placed the boy on the bed right beside her and Clarice lifted a hand and ran her hand through his wild hair. She pulls him close and tucks his body against hers, leaning her forehead against his, finally breathing easy. He doesn't move, and his lack of movement is eerie, Caspian was always in motion. Seemingly regardless of what's happening around him, the boy was always moving. Having him still freaked Clarice out a bit but as she laid her palm flat against his chest she can feel his heartbeat pulsing strongly against his rib cage beneath her hand. Pressing a kiss to his messy curls she looked up and caught John watching. She smiled and reached out her hand for his, with his own answering smile, John reached out and interlaced his fingers with hers. Clarice tugged on his hand gently, prompting him to lay on the mattress facing them.

“Thank you, John.” She squeezed his hand tightly and ran her thumb soothingly over the back of his hand. “You didn’t have to go back for him but you did. You’ll never know what this means to me.” She whispered staring deeply into his eyes. 

“I would’ve never left without him, you’re not the only one who loves him Clarice.” He replied fondly, breaking eye contact to look at the boy. “Besides,” He added, “I’ve got a pretty good idea.’ Then he leaned over and ghosted a kiss atop her lips. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't entirely sure how to end the first chapter and I couldn't even write their ''goodbye's'' without falling apart so I ended it beforehand, imagine their parting however you will.


End file.
